While fictional, the following is based on some actual events.

OPA board member Tom Tyrone Wilson had the best of intentions. Little did Tom know he was about to embroil himself in a scandal threatening to rock the very foundation of the Ocean Pines Association. Sorry, no illicit affairs, just improper use of association money, abuse of OPA employees, and hazardous waste.

Where to begin with this tale of intrigue, deception, malfeasance, and gross incompetence? It began with the best of intentions. Tom thought a social meet and greet for association members and board members prior to board meetings would be a great idea. The crucial error in judgment came with a decision to provide coffee and donuts for those social gatherings. Was the decision made in bad faith?

Things quickly spiraled out of control. The director of Public Works was tasked to put a crew of employees together who would provide valet parking for those attending the Saturday morning meetings. UberEats was hired to make home delivery of coffee and donuts for those attending the hybrid board meetings via computer from home.

The enraged outcry from some association members was instantaneous. "If the board wants to have a coffee and donuts social with people attending board meetings, let the board pay for it," was one constant refrain. Not only was the cost an outrage, but even greater outrage arose when it was discovered board members did not personally bring and set up the coffee and donuts and then clean up afterward.

Some variation exists in the community's collective outrage. One association member clarified with an important distinction: "I said the board members themselves should pick up the donuts and coffee. Board members should set it up and take it down themselves, not an Ocean Pines employee. I didn’t say anything about the cost."

Several petitions are circulating in an attempt to take this to the Attorney General of Maryland. A GoFundMe page has already raised over $200,000 with the end goal of hiring some crack HOA law attorneys and taking this to the Maryland Court of Appeals, if necessary.

"No expense is too great to stop this scandalous use of OPA funds and employees," one anti-coffee-and-donuts individual said.

As the political and possibly criminal issues escalate, another group entered the fray after hearing the coffee was served in styrofoam cups. A group spokesperson said, "Polystyrene is slow to degrade, and if disposed of improperly, the foam can leach chemicals into the environment, harming water sources. Polystyrene manufacturing is an enormous creator of hazardous waste. Furthermore, polystyrene manufacturing greatly contributes to global warming."

More and more law firms are becoming involved. Rumor has it a hotel is proposed on land next to the Veterans Memorial to house all the Philadelphia lawyers due to arrive for cases likely to last a decade or more.

For the less outraged association members, show up a half hour before every regularly scheduled board meeting and enjoy some coffee and donuts, along with the company of your elected board members. For hybrid attendees, OPA will soon announce a hotline number to reserve scheduled delivery via UberEats. This service is free for association members. Friends and relatives tuning in at home for the entertainment must pay a $10 non-member fee.

This is, of course, subject to a pending decision from the Internal Revenue Service as applies to OPA's non-profit status. You may recall, however, OPA lost a similar case, IRS v OPA, over the general public's access to Beach Club parking.

One potential future hurdle involves the donuts. Local bakeries are now considering an OPA donuts boycott based on complaints from association members. Tom Wilson is optimistic the stores will continue to sell donuts to OPA. "We have a backup plan prepared, but I cannot publicly discuss the details at this time."

Meantime, opponents have formed 17 Facebook groups.