6/7/2006

‘With this ring I thee wed’
By Dolores E. Pike

Why is June known as the month of weddings? 

June has long been associated with the start of the journey of marriage.  On path leads back to Roman times because the goddess Juno, for whom the month is named, was also the goddess of marriage.  Another avenue favors the idea that it is because the moon shines brightest in June. The full moon of June is known as the “honey moon,” thought to be the best time to gather honey. Used in foods and refreshments, honey was served for the benefit of the wedding couple to ensure love and fertility. Thus, the custom of the couple's “honeymoon” following their wedding has its origins in the month of June. Since the sun also was associated with fertility, the summer was considered a good time to marry. In Scotland one popular custom was for the bride to "walk with the sun."  She would walk from east to west on the south side of the church and then continue walking around the church three times.

But whatever month couples chose for their marriage date June continues to hold sway as the month for weddings.  Therefore it seemed the right month to take a look at marriage and what it takes to remain married.  Thirty couples in Ocean Pines and Ocean City who have been married for 50 years of more were presented with a questionnaire, addressing the issue. (And let the record state that of the eight couples who responded to short survey, two were married in June.)

To what do you attribute your long marriage?

“Giving each other their own space and supporting their efforts in all things.  Separate checking accounts for personal use.  Agreeing and willing to support taking some risks.  Good relations with each one’s extended family.”  Fred and Kay Heinlen, married November 15, 1952 in Greenville, PA

“Patience; adapting to changing conditions; good health; each person contributing more than 50 percent; living within our means; mutual fidelity and loyalty; family interests; mutual love and respect.”  Charlotte and Doug Slingerland, married June 7, 1952 in Cold Spring-on-the Hudson, NY.

“Patience, sense of humor, similar interests, lots of communication, similar background.  But most important is trust in God and love for each other.” Carl and Gloria Eklund married May 20, 1956 in St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church, Smithtown, NY.

“Love and devotion.”  Louise and Jerry Powell, married May 5, 1951 in Douglas Memorial Methodist Church, Washington, DC.

In 50 years or more of marriage a treasure-trove of stories move into the memories of the couples.  Some couples graciously shared their stories.

“While traveling with our pop-up camper many years ago, I was driving and Bob was handling the directions.  Suddenly the map flew out of the window.  The result was Bob got out, wading through a swampy field.  I had to drive to a place to turn and then retrieve Bob.  We often laugh when reflecting back on this craziness.”  Ruth and Bob Post married June 25, 1955 at First Presbyterian Church, Hackensack, NJ.

“The classic family story is when Joyce and I (at the time married 14 years) went to a reception with all her family.  Her brother and his wife, Phyllis, made the mandatory visit to the ‘aunts’ dinner table and Aunt Mae said, ‘Doesn’t Phyllis look wonderful.”  Joyce’s mother replied, ‘Why shouldn’t she, she’s married to a wonderful fellow.’  A few minutes later Joyce and I made our obligatory visit to the same table and her same aunt said, ‘Doesn’t Joyce look wonderful.’  To which Joyce’s mother replied, ‘Why not, she gave up smoking.’” Don and Joyce Klein, married April 3, 1955 in New York City.

What advice would you like to share with couples about to be married?

“Hang in there.  Recognize that no one is perfect; we all have faults.  Start each day with Psalm 118:24.”  Pat and Bill Linehan, married November 17, 1951 in Cleveland Heights, OH.

“Show your love for one another in numerous ways.”  Bill and Dolores Pike married October 3, 1953 in East Lansdowne, PA.

“Giving advice is the worst thing anyone can do on most subjects but even more so on marriage.  The easiest suggestion is that marriage is not a competitive sport in which one has to win more points than the other.  Don’t be unduly critical of your partner.  Try compromising a little.  The best way to end an argument is with laughter.”  Don and Joyce Klein.

Send an Email Letter to Courier Editor - be sure to include your telephone number.